Breaking The Silence Pt. 2
Published: May 15, 2010
My first posting (see discussions tab) ended with "... my marriage and divorce." Now the truth is I left too much time in between that posting and this one to keep a sense of interest and perhaps suspense.
Either way... I'm back in the flow and can't stop now... As I stated, 2009 was a very challenging year. A lot of invaluable lessons were learned and new foundations laid.
One critical area that had to be tested was my marriage. I was very saddened to hear of the numerous divorces that took place in 2009. It was apparent that the devil was on an all-out assault in that area. In most cases it appeared to be related to infidelity. Whether it was sexual infidelity or just neglect and abandonment of the relationship, the end result was still divorce.
When my wife and I got married, we had the option of a traditional marriage license or a covenant license. A covenant marriage recognized by the state (not all states have this option) makes it very difficult to get divorced. We chose that route because in our minds, divorce would not be an option.
Having been married close to 10 years, I can say it has not been discussed or mentioned in our household. Have there been difficult seasons... absolutely! Have we needed space and a "break" of sorts? Yes! However, the thought of divorcing and essentially TEARING APART WHAT WE ACKNOWLEDGED GOD BROUGHT TOGETHER... as previously stated... not an option.
I believe one of the most critical areas in any relationship is communication. How we communicate with each other determines the level of unity we can walk in. If communication is poor, then it creates room for confusion, conflict, and misunderstandings. And you can believe that a marriage that has poor communication at the core will eventually crumble.
While we knew that there were areas we needed to develop in our communication flow, it is very difficult to ignore when you are broke! Limited finances force you to have to talk through everything because our daily activities have a value attached to it. Whether it’s buying groceries or burning gas to get to the grocery store. Whether it’s cell phone usage or renting a movie, there is a cost somewhere.
The beauty of having to talk through everything, you lay a foundation of how to flow together vs. flow apart. Money gives options, which is not a bad thing. However, when those options are used to escape from confronting issues within your marriage, it builds patterns of separation which can eventually lead to divorce.
The blessing for us was that our circumstances forced us to get our foundation adjusted of which we are now building on. If we did not experience the trials of 2009, I believe our foundation would not be strong enough to carry the weight of what God has called us to do.
Gearard Henry
Copyright © 2012 you129 & Gerard Henry. All rights reserved.
Pastor Dorion Morgan
July 24, 2010
Bro. Gerard, glad to hear that you used a difficult situation to strengthen your marriage. You have been a blessing to so many, and your victory in marriage will lead to others’ victories as well. Thanks
BMackWrites
November 17, 2010
Wow. That was a blessed read!
D Alvarez
April 11, 2011
good for u….