Not Ready For Love
Published: May 02, 2010
Recently I was asking someone about the story of how they met their husband. This is not my normal point of discussion with people, however, I felt like this lady had a story to tell. Well, to say the least there are some powerful insights in Monica’s journey from being a single mom to getting married.
When Monica met Victor she had a 2-yr old daughter and was traveling the road of higher education to prepare for a better life for herself and her daughter. Her friendship to Victor was long distance and Monica had no interest in anything more serious than friendship. Victor had a different vision however and made a respectful effort to stay in communication with Monica. Periodically they would connect in person, either in Georgia or Ohio, but Monica was determined to encourage Victor to consider someone else to pursue as a bride.
Monica could not understand why someone of Victor’s morals and standards would be interested in her. After all, there was no sexual activity in their relationship; she had child, and at that point no established career. Victor was single, stable, established in his career, and had options (in her mind) better qualified than her. Although Victor would send Monica Christian books and literature, she would continuously do things to push him away.
According to Monica, “There was nothing pure or wholesome about me but Victor saw more. He didn’t look at the present package he saw the long term package. Victor was aware of my history with other men and again knew that I was not yet saved, but for reasons of his own, he continued to pursue me for the next seven years. I became angry and stubborn as Victor would tell me that I was going to be his wife. Because that only meant that I would no longer be with the ungodly men that I desired to be with. During that time, I got saved and filled with the Holy Ghost at a Pentecostal church. As I began to grow and flourish in the word of God, Victor and I started having more in common. We began visiting each other more regularly, he would continue to send me more Christian literature and books, and this time I read them. During this spiritual transformation, I began to see the potential that Victor saw in me. Soon I began to reciprocate the same feelings that he had for me.”
It was at this point that they could seriously talk about getting married. BUT WAIT… there was one key objective Monica had to fulfill. She states, “I was still hesitant about moving forward in a relationship due to some educational goals that I had set for myself. I felt that I should bring something to the table in a marriage. In 2001 I graduated from college with a degree in Nursing and Education and in 2002 I said I Do!! !”
What insights do you see in her story about love, singleness, and marriage?
Please post your comment and share with the you129 family.
Victor & Monica Singletary
Copyright © 2012 you129 & Victor & Monica Singletary. All rights reserved.
Sisters of the Faith
May 05, 2010
Great story. I think it is interesting that Victor was the “believer” that was in pursuit of someone that was not yet saved. Most often women that come to know Christ are the ones in pursuit of non-believing men because their biological clock is ticking or some other self-serving reason. Unfortunately, in that pursuit many compromise and eventually forfeit their spiritual heritage for what they thought they “needed”. Most often they fail to realize that God is not going to send them someone until they can handle it. I applaud Victor for waiting on the Lord and Monica for being receptive of a plan that was beyond what she could see.
Be blessed!